On some Thursdays, friends and I like to have "TMI Thursdays." It's just as it sounds- some hang out time, coupled with a no-holding-back, tell the truth and nothing but the truth sorta atmosphere. It's also a great time to vent or voice your frustrations with anything going on (or not going on) in your life.
During our last TMI, one of friends admitted to me that he hates it when his girlfriend starts to make out with him. It's not that he doesn't enjoy the way she kisses him (quite the opposite apparently!) but because it doesn't always "lead somewhere," and it can leave him feeling let down and blue-balled.
I can't help but feel this is a problem many men have today. Why does kissing have to lead somewhere? Why should it be branded as a transition? Most likely it stems from the goal-oriented nature of our man-minds. This isn't to say women AREN'T goal oriented, but that we men tend to carry that over into the bedroom, and that gets us in a world of hurt.
So while women are in the moment, enjoying each sensation and subtle variation, most men are thinking about how they're going to progress things, how they'll get from step-one to step-two. Women are kicking the ball around and having a blast, while men are focused trying to drive it into the goal (soccer reference!).
But you can't help feeling this means we're missing out. Everything becomes much more enjoyable when we can get our heads out of our dicks and just delight in the feeling of her lips against ours. This doesn't just apply to kissing or making out, but any aspect of the experience, whether it's foreplay, a nice massage, oral, anything. We can savor every moment so much better if we drive any notion of a goal from our minds and park our asses in the moment.
For all you women out there, lucky you! Seems like this comes much easier to you!
For us men, we should work on it. It's not an easy mindset for us to get, but it sure is worth the effort! Enjoy the lip action for what it is.
Who knows? That mindset might make things 'progress' more often than you think.
I like the way you think :)
ReplyDeleteI find that yes, men often have an agenda of kissing as just "foreplay"...it is in a way.
Maybe the "payoff" won't be immediate..but kissing and touching and caresing OUTSIDE the bedroom, definitely (for me anyway) leads to me feeling like I WANT to do more IN the bedroom.
I was in a sexless marriage for 9 years (married for 28) and without the affection/kissing outside the bedroom, I was NOT going to sleep with him!
LOVE the pic btw. Very sensual.
Fondly, Sky